Excuses, Excuses

Nice Try.
Here's a list of ten excuses that are all very real and have been said to me. Some of them have been used by more than one guy, and get this-one guy used every single one. lame. I'll include a comeback for each one since they obviously weren't legit at all. I hope all you ladies out there can relate to these because I'm sure they've been used against you too. Laugh a little (because I still am).

1. "I never said that." ---Oh, really?? Because I can go back and find the text where you did. It's not that difficult to find either because you said it to me yesterday. It's funny how you can change overnight.
2. "I just needed a guys night." ---Okay great! Go hang out with the guys, I don't have a problem with that. I need girls nights too. Just make sure I don't find out later that you were with another girl because that kind of defeats the purpose of a "guys night". Just saying. Tell me the truth and be honest, please. I hope you two had fun because I sure had fun without you!
3. "Sorry, my phone died." ---Hmmm...sorry but that is the lamest thing I ever heard. If you don't wanna talk to me (or you're scared that I'll find out you're with her again), just tell me. Once again, be honest. Also, it's funny how you're able to text back your best friend when your phone is dead, but not me. Yeah, I was with him the entire night, don't worry.
   
4. "She kissed me." ---Okay, what a load of bull#$!%. First of all, you should've said no. Sorry to bring T Swift into the mix, but it's true. If you really didn't want anything to happen, you wouldn't have put yourself in that situation. Ohh, and you let it happen. Plus, you kissed her back. For like an hour. Hope you enjoyed it because now I'll get to enjoy being without you. Oh, and another thing, don't assume that I'll be understanding and let you back into my life like nothing ever happened. Wrong-o. I won't be here.
5. "I'm so busy." ---What, you're busy hard core flirting with as many other girls as possible?? You have to understand that I don't care that you talk to other girls when we're together, like I want you to be friends with other girls too. But when you're "busy" calling your ex late at night (you told me you fell asleep) and telling her you wanna get back together after you're through with me, that sort of crosses the line, don't you think? Ohh yeah I forgot, you don't think.
   
6. "Life is crazy." ---You're crazy. If you want a relationship with me, then make time for it. Your life wasn't always crazy, and I understand that things change and life does get hectic, but I know for a fact that nothing drastic has happened in your life. You used to make time for me, so I don't understand how that can change so easily overnight. Sorry if this sounds selfish, but I just don't like being straight up ignored. But it's okay because now you make it so easy for me to say goodbye.
7. "She's out of town, she'll never know." ---Okay this one is my personal favorite, it makes me laugh so hard. It baffles me. Do you realize that we hang out with the same people?? Do you realize that if you show up somewhere with another girl that it is highly likely that word will get back to me?? Obviously you didn't because guess what...I found out. It's crazy how that works, isn't it? Sooo, despite what you thought, I know. And I'm laughing about it. Ohh and also, thanks for lying to me about who you were with. Good job, you told the truth about how you were with the guys, but you just left out one minor detail...Her. Still laughing.
   
8. "I just need to be single." ---Good, I think I do too. I'm glad the feelings are mutual. You stress me out wayyy too much and I'm fed up with your lies. Be single, please. Just know that the definition of being single is, well, being single. I don't know how else to explain it. So don't go get with another girl right after we break up (notice I used the word "we". Sorry, but you didn't break up with me, and if I remember right, I was the one who brought it up because you didn't have the balls to do it. So don't go telling the world that you did it and left me heartbroken, that's just annoying. Just a sidenote). If you don't want to be together because you have feelings for someone else, then tell the truth. Also, it's funny how the girl you got with just happened to be the one you were cheating on me with...
9. "I'm just super tired." ---Really. Really. Not buying that. You've been tired for two weeks. Do you sleep at night?? Ohhh wait, you probably don't because you're up texting other girls the same lines you've been feeding me the past two months. I don't feel sorry for you.
10. "I just need time to think." ---Yeah, you need time to think up some good excuses because guess what-you know I'm right. So please, think all you want. Think all day and all night. I'm curious to see what you come up with. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm right and you're wrong. All it does is dig yourself in a deeper hole and give me more reasons to laugh.

I sure hope you enjoyed these. Once again all these excuses are not made up, but were used in real life. Will guys ever learn and grow up?? I think not.

xoxo,
lexxxi b.